Posts by Apostate Kate

32

A quick question:

by Vinny in

jw
friends

i disassociated one year ago.

no meetings, no memorial no nothing since then.

there was one jw young man that talked to me continuously and who also lived right next door, 25 yrs old, a best friend of my step-son, (we all fished on my boat at least a half dozen times together).

Apostate Kate

Sorry for your loss, how traumatic. I hope your step son is doing ok. I would go, to pay your respects and support your step son.

Good Luck,

Kate

138

What do women REALLY want?

by Abandoned in

ok, i've heard it all: sincerity, honesty, security, money, love, romance, flowers, poems, promises, and more.

but, in my arguably limited experience, i've been shot down while doing all of these (at differnt times obviously).

so, what do women really want?

Apostate Kate

Abandonded those of us who have faced some abuse are in a class all our own male or female, though there are many of us. Treating a woman like a princess probably means many different things to different people.

I think of the polarization of Paris Hilton's narcissistic escapades and dear Terry Irwin who just lost Steve. Paris wants a multi million dollar diamond ring, Terry wanted an animal activist like herself. When Terry talks of Steve, she mourns not for the diamon ring he gave her, but his romantic passion for her, crocs, all animals and the earth. I don't think he wasted time opening doors for her when they had a gigantic croc in the truck bed.

Thus we must know ourselves and find someone who shares our passions for anything lasting to have a chance.

For me it was never about money, although I did set a standard that I would not allow a man to take from me financially. I also have no need to have a man give me money to show his love, money does not equate love to me.

Princess lessons; (warning- old fashioned values)

Do NOT try to seduce a date/friend in any way shape or form even if you think she wants it. Most do. We get horny too that doesn't make it the right thing to do. Be mature and hold back.

Do NOT expect us to take care of you and if we do anything for you at all, appreciate it.

Keep in mind that we are nurturers by nature, don't take advantage of that.

Listen closely to what we say and you will learn what we need from you. Some women want flowers, candy, doors opened etc, some don't. You want to find these things out. I couldn't care less for all that. Listening closely will also tell you if a woman is interested in you or your favors.

Don't spend 1 penny on us unless it is a free gift. We don't need your sex deposits. Give freely if you feel it, don't if you don't. That way if it doesn't work out you will have no regrets.

You deserve someone really special Thomas. When I go to the city I meet so many people living shallow lives. People who live for clothes, things, new cars, media induced madness, that just doesn't seem like you. You need a woman that values the elderly, life, simple things. Think about it, if there were many women out there who value the elderly like you do, why would there be so many lonely seniors in nursing homes without visitors?

It's not you my friend.

138

What do women REALLY want?

by Abandoned in

ok, i've heard it all: sincerity, honesty, security, money, love, romance, flowers, poems, promises, and more.

but, in my arguably limited experience, i've been shot down while doing all of these (at differnt times obviously).

so, what do women really want?

Apostate Kate

The best thing I did when I was single was to make new friends. Learn how to be a friend to others. That is something I am still working on after being a dub.
Amen sister. I feel SOOOO SHUNTED in this aspect of my life. Besides the intense feeling that I constantly have to prove myself or the person will no longer like me, I walk around with the almost certain expectation that every relationship is temporary and going to leave. I hate it and I don't know how to move on from it.

I'm the same way! I wonder how much of this was effected by the WT..really don't know. Even though I am sincerely happy and well treated and taken care of, sometimes I get this feeling of wanting to fly away..start over somewhere that nobody knows me...I have done this many times in my life! It all feels so temporary sometimes.

My childhood experience was very extreme. My mother and I moved around more than a military family after her divorce. I was a gypsy as a very young teen, my mom nearly died from lack of blood transfusion and lived with my sister whose husband lusted after me so I lived wherever. I lived at my brother in law's parent's house, all dubs, and my brother in law's brother molested me, so I looked for someplace else to live. Everything was temporary.

The only time in my life that I stayed put was when I was raising my children for 16 years. Because of my husbands abuse it was 16 years of sheer hell, I could not support the children on my own so I stayed and took the abuse. After my divorce I moved around looking for a place to settle. My childhood girlfriends were JW's, one must be dead by now and the other slipped into insanity. There was never any extended family, siblings estranged and instable, never had a support system of any kind. Father was evil, sick and dangerous to be around. As bad as you can imagine.

I've been out here since 1998 and I have finally put down roots. There are a few people from my past that I make an effort to reach out in love to. Other than that most of my friends are newer, since I moved here. It takes work and unconditional love, a measure of trust. But being a Christian don't feel that I have to trust people, I trust in God and know that my God has asked me to love all people unconditionally, and that love is an action word.

For those of you that think women want to be treated badly, think again. I used to believe that I did not deserve to be treated like a princess, since no one had ever done so, it must be me right? Wrong. It took me a long time to understand that I am a princess and deserve to be treated like one.

Most women will find this out and leave mistreatment. You have no idea how much an abused little girl needs to grow up and be treated right, they want it, they may not have found out that they deserve it yet. Men have no idea how much little girls/women suffer, and how many of us have. Do you know how many of us have suffered violent rapes? The number used to be 1 in 4. Don't expect us to tell you about any of it, just treat us as if we were your princess.

64

How many have/will/plan to attend a WNFJ convention in Penn?

by AK - Jeff in

i know a few here have and do so - i have listened to tons of the audio testimonials and have even had one poster here offer me a place to stay should i decide to go in october.

i just might go this time.. wnfj= witnesses now for jesus [ mostly former jw's and mormons] .

jeff .

Apostate Kate

Kate, what I meant was that we eat junk food, you can eat your organic nuts and not feel left out!

otay

64

How many have/will/plan to attend a WNFJ convention in Penn?

by AK - Jeff in

i know a few here have and do so - i have listened to tons of the audio testimonials and have even had one poster here offer me a place to stay should i decide to go in october.

i just might go this time.. wnfj= witnesses now for jesus [ mostly former jw's and mormons] .

jeff .

Apostate Kate

Randy does that mean you will be there to?

51

My dear atheist posters, what would you recommend . . .

by pennycandy in

for a reliable, accurate study of the authenticity of the bible and/or the existence of god?.

.

Apostate Kate

Deuteronomy 22:28 If a man <'iysh> find <matsa'> a damsel <na`arah> that is a virgin <b@thuwlah>, which is not betrothed <'aras>, and lay hold <taphas> on her, and lie <shakab> with her, and they be found <matsa'>;

Lilly's right. This has nothing to do with the virgin being raped.

It was more that the man would be held responsible for manipulating the girl into having sex with him. To take care of her the rest of her life was an act of mercy. Today we have men manipulating woman, getting them pregnant, and leaving them to raise the child alone.

28

March AWAKE

by mouthy in

just had a call from a jw undercover.... says the march awake is teaching the question on sex again "what young people ask" telling them about hooking up!!!!

i am begining to think that maybe those up in the writing department must get horny while writng all this stuff -the lad that called says he gets horny reading it.

pity!!!!

Apostate Kate

This reminds me of when the auto department at Walmart messed up my name so bad when my truck was ready they announced over the store intercom;

KATE BONER KATE BONER (snicker)YOUR TRUCK IS READY KATE BONER (snort)YOUR TRUCK IS READY

When I walked up they were all laughing.

27

Should I mention my marital rape to my 18-yr-old son?

by J-ex-W in

first---thank you, lady lee, for providing the articles on rape.

the one on marital rape is especially catching my eye now.

now, the question, and i welcome any serious answers: my boys are all seriously alienated from me by my abusive jw ex-husband, who has physical custody (because of my physical health limitations).

Apostate Kate

What I meant is you will not do anything against them that they can condemn you for. Right now they are JW's, tomorrow they may not be.

When I say keep reaching out I mean by email, visits if and when possible, snail mail, phone calls, etc. You will be rejected. But a mother's love will keep you going. Never give up. Send cards, pictures, little gifts.

On the parental alienation syndrome I'm not sure if you should send it or not. Follow your heart on that. Kids don't always see the situation clearly. Not sure if it would help or not.

49

Changing your diet - meat, dairy, sugar

by Pleasuredome in

jw
friends

i have just finished reading 'confessions of a kamikaze cowboy' by dirk benedict.

in the book he talks about how 'macrobiotics' (exclusion of meat, sugar, dairy among others) helped improve his health and fight cancer.

a lot of what he says about food resonates with me, so im curious.

Apostate Kate

My thoughts exactly.

I call it a higher quality of life.

My dog is a perfect example. He is the oldest living aussie my vet has ever seen, and this old guy still enjoys his life. He is not in pain, eats-we have a funny little thing we do at mealtime. He gets to sniff the can lid like a cork in a bottle of fine wine.

He eats, sleeps, walks around outside with the other dogs and vists the horses, comes out to greet company, trots now and then...and sleeps some more.

All because of a lifetime of healthy food, no table scraps.

Same for me, I still have genetic disease but I have an incredible quality of life dispite it. Compared to all others with this disease my age I am at the top as far as activity goes.

I was diagnosed with lupus in the mid 80's. That is about 20 years with very few complications from it! Many have died or on dialysis after this long. People who meet me that either have it or have family and friends with it are amazed when they find out. The only sign is the butterfly rash on my face and when I use makeup that is gone.

Nursing homes are full of people who made bad dietary choices. It is not about how long you live, not for me anyway, it is about living everyday until the end to the fullest.

27

Should I mention my marital rape to my 18-yr-old son?

by J-ex-W in

first---thank you, lady lee, for providing the articles on rape.

the one on marital rape is especially catching my eye now.

now, the question, and i welcome any serious answers: my boys are all seriously alienated from me by my abusive jw ex-husband, who has physical custody (because of my physical health limitations).

Apostate Kate

I can really relate to your terrible situation. I was raped by my ex husband. My biggest mistake was in not calling the cops. The had already been out to the house on several occasions and advised me to leave for my own safety. They knew we were living separate in different ends of the house, me with my doors locked. The lawyer told me not to leave or I would be accused of abandonment and maybe lose some rights so I stayed. The bathroom unfortunatly was at the other end of the house and I had to brave the journey. I tried not to when he was home. That was how he got me. After, I was in shock, I was bruised and in shock. ...I can't go there

anyway I have never told my children this. I DID however tell them the truth about their father's activity that was the final straw, (before the rape) that lead to the divorce precedings. He had an orgy in a limosoine with 3 prostitutes. After years of emotional and psychological abuse that was it for me. (I had to stress about HIV too-he had unprotected sex with the prostitutes) Their father told everyone I divorced him because I fell in love with another man. I wanted the children to know the truth. They were teenagers at the time. I don't regret it.

They still have a relationship with their father but they see him for who he is. Their relationship with me is based on love, the relationship with thier father is based on money. He caused us all pain and as I stated before the loss of peace and time with my children is the only grief I mourn.

My advice is to keep reaching out to your sons in unconditional love. Even if they reject you over and over again. Don't take it personal, keep trying. Pray for the future when they will understand. If you give them no cause to condemn you, eventually they will stop doing it.

I'm really sorry for your pain, it is the worst pain a mother can bear. But hang in there. I'm pretty sure it will get better for you. Instead of trying to prove your ex to be the ass that he is, face the rejection as I said and continue to reach out in unconditional love to your sons.